Are You a Kind Leader?

I once worked with an amazing leader who was known for their kindness. In fact, when they moved on to a new role, the number one thing people remembered about them was how kind they were.

Even months after they left, the stories people shared were all about how friendly, generous, and thoughtful they were. They were the kind of leader who made people feel comfortable, trusted, and genuinely cared for—someone you’d be excited to work with.

Sounds pretty great, right?

The tricky part? Very few people talked about the impact they had on the business, or how they advanced the company or shook things up in ways that others hadn’t. Instead, their legacy became more about their personal kindness than their effectiveness as a leader.

Kindness is awesome, but when it becomes the main focus, it can overshadow other important aspects of leadership.

Don’t get me wrong—kindness is essential, and the world could always use more of it! But here's the thing: I’ve seen many people, especially those who pride themselves on being "kind leaders," miss opportunities for growth because they mistakenly equate being “nice” with being an effective leader.

Kindness, while wonderful, can sometimes be a shield. It’s easy to hide behind, especially when things get tricky—like giving tough feedback, managing performance, or having difficult conversations. Leaders who prioritize kindness can find these moments especially challenging because it forces them to step outside of their "nice" persona and face those uncomfortable aspects of leadership.

I’ve definitely had moments where the gap between "I’m a kind person" and "I have to deliver a tough performance review" has been a real emotional struggle.

So what can you do? If you want to be a compassionate, empathetic, and authentic leader—and yes, someone who is kind—do you need to change who you are?

Not at all. Who you are is how you lead and that’s a superpower.

Here's an exercise I recommend: Start by writing down all the ways your kindness makes you a great leader. How does your kindness help bring out the best in those around you?

Then, try swapping the word “kindness” with “caring.” How does caring make you a great leader? What would it look like to truly care for someone at work? How might shifting from kindness to caring change the way you interact with your team?

Notice how the two words feel different?

Being kind can make someone feel good in the moment, but caring about someone means you’re focusing on their overall growth and well-being—which, in a work setting, ultimately helps the company too.

When you lead with caring, you can still be kind, but you’re also being effective because you're considering the bigger picture. It's about balancing compassion with clarity and having the courage to make decisions that may not always feel "nice" but are necessary for growth and success.

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Written by: Kristina Mausser, Certified Executive Coach
Edits generated by: ChatGPT, OpenAi. Edited for style and content.